Happy Monday & Happy Spring!
The sun is finally warming up and the trees are blooming and flourishing just as we are. As the winter season is finally leaving, is cuffing season departing as well? For those who are not sure what the term ‘cuffing season’ is, well it’s pretty simple. It starts usually around mid-fall when summer has just ended, up until the end of winter, where all the millennials, or even some older folks are more likely to pursue a relationship during this time of the year. Some say it’s due to the fact that the weather’s getting colder, you need someone to cuddle with and there’s no more summer parties where it’s okay to get a little crazy and live the single stereotyped lifestyle. A lot of people find this ‘season‘ quite contradicting. Why should it take a season for someone to realize if they want to be emotionally connected with someone on a level of intimacy? This factor is the least of our problems. Welcome to #DatingIn2017.
It seems like social media users are constantly taking the initiative to express their distaste with the way people date in 2017. There are definitely many pros, but it seems like the cons are always overshadowing them. Here’s a couple bullet points with reasons why relationships don’t work, or just are a fail all together.
- Selfishness. Everybody is so caught up on themselves now-a-days, but who ever said there was anything wrong with that? If you know that someone is interested in you, but you are in a time and space of putting yourself first, DON’T WASTE ANYONES TIME! People are putting their heart on the line for you, do not entertain it for your own selfish joy, let them know this isn’t the best time for you or them to be together. Being honest sooner, always leads to a smoother result.
- SEX. Yes. Sex. We’re all adults here, even though we don’t feel like it sometimes. Of course a relationship is nothing without some form of a sexual connection, but that is not the root of it all. Your partner should be your best friend, someone you can hang out with, talk to about anything, ask for advice, laugh with at stupid jokes or sing your favorite songs on the top of your lungs in the car. If the only memories you and your partner have revolve around sex … well I have some bad news for you.
- Talking or Dating? It seems like people are constantly confusing these two stages. Inevitably, you always want to get to know your partner before you actually date them, this is considered the talking stage. The first few weeks, where you just got their number, you’re getting to know them. Texting on a more than friends level. You want them to get a good feel of you and what you want out of this relationship, but done subtly. You also still want to give off the same aura as when they first met you, emotionally irresistible.
- Insecurity. It’s 2017 and social media is the epitome of any millennial’s life. We are constantly comparing ourselves to other people that are in the position where we want to be. The gag is, we only see what the people we are comparing ourselves to, wants to show us. Even those who seem like they have it all together in their relationships, or even their personal lives, have struggles and insecurities. Stop comparing yourself and taking it out on your partner, it shows self-doubt, trust issues and automatically fails a relationship.
- Communication. Everybody loves to talk, I mean heck even I do, I have my own blog. But do people realize how well their listening skills are? Communicating is not just speaking, it’s listening. A lot of times during the talking or dating stage, people forget to listen to their partner. Having them feel like their partner doesn’t get their needs or what they want. When communicating to your partner, it’s crucial to make sure you’re voicing all these underlying issues instead of letting them build up. Regardless of the outcome, knowing you voiced your emotions and feelings is more satisfying than never speaking up at all.
- Social Media. Stop seeking satisfaction for simply being posted as someones ‘#MCM’ or #WCW’. We become caught up on these likes and posts, by taking something so personal, sacred and special, to become so public and the topic of conversation for the public. Your relationship should not be dependent on Instagram likes, or how others’ think you should go about certain situations, but keeping it private between you and your partner.
Lastly, for all my LGBTQ daters out there, be patient!! Speaking from experience, being gay & a lover at heart has never been easy. We are constantly seeking for our perfect partner to magically fall into our arms, but it doesn’t always work that way. Aside from the obvious that not everyone can come up to you because they’re still trying to decipher whether or not you’re a homosexual, let the universe work it’s magic. Stop thinking you’re not good enough and constantly comparing yourself to your friends in a relationship. You do not need the satisfaction of someone else, to validate your own essential happiness. When the time is right, the stars will align and love will fall right on your lap & you won’t even know it.